In a 5-minute time span...

Braydon pukes from drinking too much water, too fast. Once he pukes, he purposefully steps in it and begins to track it through the house (luckily, just on the tile). As I'm cleaning up the puke and clorexing where it landed, my dog decides to poop in the kitchen. Floppy (the dog) decided her paws are too delicate to touch water- drenched grounds, thus deciding the best place to poop is by the kitchen door. As I begin to pick up the poop, Braydon beats me to one turd and begins to squeeze it between his fingers and both hands. Immediately we wash hands, search for any remaining turds, and return to life as we know it... That is, until I find my son playing in puddle -- literally laying in it on his belly. The DAMN DOG peed on the tile AND the carpet in the office. Forget washing hands -- time for a bath -- a hose down.

DAMN DOG!!!