Perhaps I cried as hard as I did because it's been quite some time since I've dedicate much thought to my twins and the way we lost. But mostly I think I cried because I've caught an unfortunate glimpse of the pain parents go through when losing a child they've brought into the world, into their family, into their hearts, and into their future dreams and plans.
Our time with Addy and Quinn was so brief, and I truly cannot fathom my friend's pain! However, she sounds so strong, brave, faith forward and faith driven. I wish I had been that strong and that I hadn't called my faith and relationship with God into question the days, weeks, and months following our sudden and tragic parting.
Am I now on good terms with God? Absolutely!
I just do not understand the fairness or justice of losing such an innocent and precious life. I know there are so many things I'll never understand, in this lifetime, but my questions are still there, and my heart is heavier today than yesterday, and I pray that my friend, her husband, children, and their entire support system are able to move forward and that ALL of us remain hopeful -- that we never lose hope regardless of what life throws our way.
I also pray that fear doesn't prevent any of us from achieving what we deserve and long for in this life, and that fear doesn't paralyze our ability to walk through grief and truly process the various emotions that such a loss elicits.
With that said, I promise my next post will not be so emotionally draining.
2 comments:
My heart is breaking for your friend, and you, and everyone else who has suffered a loss. What a difficult thing to hear. My last boss lost her 2 month old grandson last November to SIDS. Whether it is someone close to me or someone I don't even know...it breaks my heart all the same.
Sometimes life is just unfair.
(my email address is sundevil-girl@hotmail.com). Looking forward to hearing from you.
Hey there. What tragic news. I cant not even begin to know just how I would be able to deal with such a loss if I had to walk that road such as your friend. Losing a child no matter what just is so hard my heart hurts for her. Do me a favor and go over to surviving curve balls and ask Jennifer about the resources she had with dealing with such a loss. She lost her sweet Lilly and has been with out her now for just over a year due to sids. I stumbled upon her blog one day almost a year ago this summer and just know that she is a light of God's love in this world. I know she would respond to you and that the information would be so helpful to your friend. Have a good weekend and I hope that your faith grows stronger daily. ML
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